IMPERIAL DECREE ON THE SACRED EMPEROR'S BIRTHDAY

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IMPERIAL DECREE ON THE SACRED EMPEROR'S BIRTHDAY - DECEMBER 14

By occasion of The Holiest Of Days, The Sacred Emperor's Divine Birthday, all servants of The Sacred Empire must volutarily donate (click here, idiot) 30 per cent of whatever end of year bonus earnings they may have received or will receive.

Although these donations are completely voluntary, those who refuse to donate will be punished by facing either the IHC (Imperial Head Chopper) or the IAP (Imperial Anal Purifier). In yet another gesture of extreme benevolence, His Divine Majesty will allow the heretics to choose their punishments.