Good Bye mthrfckrs

[tutonic]

As you know I had two accidents (first when a big crazy chemist dropped flask with explosive (picric acid), second when my parachute hasn't opened at all). In first I lost my eye and foot, but I still could play with mthrfckrs from NF. In second I lost my legs and i got problems with spine. I still could play with mthrfckrs from NF, but things was getting worse, I'm in partial paralysis. It really helps me play ET - I am now a superplayer with great reaction time and biotic skills in hands. And becouse of that I won't play with you - it wouldn't be fair. In this situation I can noob you to the ground, so I resign.
Seriously I have got a hard rehabilitation and I really can't play .

Have a fun in this fckn game! Greetings from nut to nuts (worse nuts of course)!
Fuck You Noobs!

[Pedro-NF]

That really makes me sad, you are one of the greatest guys I've ever met on the server. At least drop by here once in a while to let us know how you're doing. I sincerely hope you get as well as possible, considering everything that happened. If I can do anything to help you in any way, just PM or email me.

[tutonic]

I see you really love me, so I'll give you some informations about my luck

In my first accident I looked so much funny, couse I had a flaskneck in my eye . Some milimetres deeper and I have brain infection (OMG I'd kill you everybody on server as a zombie )
In second accident I have to thank my friend. We had a routine skydive training. When we pack parachute to rucksack there are two ways to do this. First is that we just furl the parachute and attach some lines to special places in rucksack (it is for amortisation - new generation parachutes. In older we don't attach any lines, just put furled parachute in). Second way is same then the first, but we also spread a bit of parachute by hooking corners to taches. It is a proffesional way and the first one takes less time, so we usually do the first method (which is more dangerous, becouse there is larger chance that it won't open, and when parachute stuck in rucksack there is no amortisation, while in second way a bit of parachute still gives resistance). I furled parachute and put it into rucksack, but my friend (head of our jump) ordered us to pack it safely. And we jumped. I had a lot of adrenaline, as always, but when I pulled parachute cable I felt like the adrenaline runned from my ears . Except the landing, it was best jump ever .
And when I landed, I was thinking that I am dreaming - I looked behind and spot bones with meat and blood . I swooned, and woke in hospital. So my friend saved me from death
And it is miracle that i didn't die even I had amortisation (doctors was in schock ).

Only when I will pass my rehabilitation I will go and play with nuts . But probably it will be in a year or more.
There are three worse things in all:
1. I can't have a sex (well, maybe some day my I will be little more agile and this will change, but even my wife will be jumping on my, I think )
2. I can't jump with parachute (I asked doctor is it possible to jump with prosthesis, but he opened eyes widely and come off my room )
3. I can't play ET! (but, as I wrote, maybe I'll play )

And you know, life is brutal, but what the fuck? We live only about 70 years. It isn't much, so why should I care about my legs? I like do crazy things, becouse it makes this 70 years longer, and also it makes every bad luck like it didn't happen. Maybe I'll die early becouse of my crazy, but life will be better
Fuck the God and Satan

EDIT: In real, Pedro hates me becouse now everybody think that I am bigger macho than him HAHAHA

[tutonic]

So nice
But I think doctor was in shock because I was thinking about jumping just after an accident. Not because it is impossible.
I will be like barbie with plastic legs

[qu4s3n4d4]

Man i really think you are a bigger macho then everyone else in the world! =]

But i hope everything goes well and you'll be ok after the rehabilitation!

[Pedro-NF]

Joking aside, get better so you can have sex.

TRANSLATION j1 is planning a trip to Poland in about a year...

[qu4s3n4d4]

Owned!

[tutonic]

Joking aside, get better so you can have sex.

TRANSLATION j1 is planning a trip to Poland in about a year...

So, if somebody wants sex with a real invalid macho, I think 150 PLN (about 50 euro) is good price.

[tutonic]

what?

[qu4s3n4d4]

auhahuahahauhuahuahuahuauhauha

[BedIntruder]

You have an upbeat attitude for such terrible circumstances. I salute you for t-bagging the planet from an airplane; you have an eternal iron nut award.

[tutonic]

I tried to fly like a bird, but it didin't work
Then I had began thinking about how should I land. I thought that if i land on head, my death'd be quick
But unluckily it was hard to do

[Pedro-NF]

I thought that if i land on head, my death'd be quick
But unluckily it was hard to do

Obviously. Your nuts weigh much more than your head, thus making it impossible for you to turn upside down during a fall.

[tutonic]

But I have nuts in head...

[Pedro-NF]

But I have nuts in head...

No, those are mine tbagging you.

[tutonic]

I prefer lost my head than lost my nuts...